A Journey Neverending
by Dora Lee
Summary: A continuation of A Walk To Remember after Landon marries Jamie. See what the two go through and how Landon manages to handle Jamie's death. It's short, but sweet. R&R PLEASE!!! :D
1. Prologue

                It's been five years since Jamie's passing and now you ask 

of my story after the tragic incident. I'm now twenty-five years old and 

have finally completed my four years of college at UNC. It was a very hard four years for me, but my mom is still very proud of me and somewhere in my heart I know Jamie is proud of me too. Her love for me and my love for Jamie hasn't died, I doubt it ever will. The love we had for each other was unlike any other, it was more that just love. I close my eyes sometimes and I can still see her and hear her beautiful voice saying "you're my angel." That very moment proved to me that I indeed had a purpose on earth and that was Jamie. It's funny how one day you despise someone and within just one school play, you fall in love with that very person.

                I can still hear her beautiful singing that night and her angelic expression. I saw the real Jamie that night. A Jamie that no one else had seen. She was alot more than Jamie Sullivan, the girl I went to the same school as and had the same classes with since kindergarten. She was more than a girl who sat at table seven during lunch, more than a girl who enjoyed tutoring on the weekends and more than a girl who hung out with the cool kids from the Stars and Planets, she was an angel to me and still is. She'll always be an angel. Not a day has gone by where she has left my thoughts. There's never going to be a day where she will leave my thoughts. Ever since she's been gone, everyone and everything has changed. I've been told countless times that it's time for me move on. No one seems to understand though. I nod and then walk away.

                Eric and I don't talk anymore. About three years ago we had a fight and I blew him off. We never made up, and I do regret it, but maybe that's just a part of the Lord's plan. After I went off to college, Belinda called me and told me she loved me. I didn't believe her because I love Jamie, not anyone else. 

                Every now and then I have a reoccuring dream of Jamie and I wake in a cold sweat and tears because I wish she were still here. The only place I have her in is my heart and my head. She'll never leave those places. She's like the wind. Like she said once, "I can't see the wind, but I can feel it." I can't see her, but I can feel her and I miss her. Here's my story of what happened after we got married. I'm warning you again, you'll laugh and then you'll cry.


	2. Chapter One

                That day the sky had been covered with clouds, but the church was altogether beautiful. Jamie wanted to get married in the same church her mother and father got married in, so that's what we did. On the outside, the flowers covered practically everything and I stood in front of the church inside as nervous as I was when I first said "I love you" to Jamie.

                As I stood there, my heart was beating so quickly, but the very  second I had laid eyes on Jamie, I felt myself ease up. She looked so beautiful, her brown hair hung freely around her shoulders and she had the constant sparkle in her bright blue eyes. Her skin seemed to glow brightly and just seeing her made me forget that she was sick. I was just happy to be with her.

                There was this passage that she always wanted her father to read at the wedding and as he recited this, I couldn't help but just let myself look into her eyes.

                "Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." her father said. I listened to every word of it and thought of Jamie. Every sentence was true, just like her. Just like she always will be. We said our vows and I knew by the way she said it that she meant it.

                Jamie and I never went on a honeymoon, but we spent every possible second together.

                                                 *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Landon?" she said that night as we sat on the balcony at her house, she in my arms. I looked at her with a smile.

                "Hm?" I asked. I could see the same old twinkle in her eyes. She smiled at me sweetly and took hold of my hand weakly. I smiled back and just looked at her waiting for the words she was about to say.

                "Have you ever seen an angel?" she asked me. I smiled at her question because the truth is, I have seen an angel. She was the that angel.

                "I'm holding an angel at this very moment." I replied. She smiled at me again and I gently kissed her. In my head at that moment, I knew that Jamie was the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't lose her now, not ever. She laid her head down onto my shoulder and almost immediately fell asleep. I smiled looking down onto her angelic face. I brushed a strand of her hair out of the way and kissed her forehead. "Do you want me to take you inside?" I whispered into her ear gently.

                "No, I liek it here." she replied gently clutching onto the collar of my shirt. I smiled as I stroked the top of her head and stared at the night sky. The weather was slowly becoming hotter, but stayed nice each day. That was when I saw it. In the southern part of the spring sky was a shooting star. I held Jamie's hand a little tighter and closed my eyes.

                "God, I know I don't talk to you much. I'm not used to doing this, but in my arms lays the most precious thing to me. In my arms lies an angel. The angel you're going to take from me is the angel I've fallen in love with. I love this angel, so I ask of you God please don't take her from me. She doesn't deserve to die so young. She's showed me what life is really about and I'm sorry I've treated her the way I have, but I know now. I ask of you, please give me a chance to give her a miracle of a lifetime. Don't take her from me." I spoke. I felt the hot tears streaming down my cheeks now. I opened my tightly shut eyes to look at Jamie who had a smile upon her face as she slept in a sweet slumber. Once again, I kissed her forehead and then the top of her hand. She whispered "I love you" and snuggled closer to me. I looked at her for what seemed like forever, wiping the countless tears from my cheeks.

                                               *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                The next morning, I woke up, Jamie asleep beside me. She looked so peaceful, like she hadn't a worry in the world. I smiled at her and kissed her cheek lightly. She stirred a bit and I covered her with her blanket a bit more.

                When I walked out of Jamie's room and into the living room, Reverend Sullivan was sitting on the couch reading a book. He didn't notice I came down until a slight sudden movement, then he looked up at me, lowering his glasses slightly.

                "Good morning, Landon." He said smiling at me for the first time. The only reason he seemed happy about this because Jamie's happy. I didn't know whether he was happy about who she married or not. By the way he smiled and said good morning, my guess was he didn't really have a problem with it. He had grown to like me, I guess. "How's Jamie doing?" Now, you may ask, why did Jamie's father let me sleep in the same bed with her? Well, the answer is clearly obvious from previous experience. I had respect for her and would never dare to take advantage of her.

                "She's sound asleep still." I replied my hands clasped together. "May I have a seat?" He nodded, removing his glasses and I sat in the brown couch in front of him. There had been questions that I'd begun asking myself last night and I figured that only father knows best. "Reverend, can I ask you something?" He set the closed book onto the coffee table and sat back with his hands in his lap.

                "I'm listening, son." he replied. I only hoped to God he wouldn't become furious with me for the question I was about to ask. I sighed and hurriedly thought about a way to ask this, only coming to the conclusion that I should just say it straight out. He noticed my nervousness right off the bat and asked me, "Are you alright?"

                "Oh, yes sir. I'm just...a little unsure of my question and if don't want to talk about it, that's perfectly fine, but I was just wondering some of this last night." I said a hundred miles a minute. I was absolutely stalling, but then I could tell Hegbert was getting impatient. I stopped for a moment to prepare myself for possible music. "How...did Mrs. Sullivan die during child birth?" He shifted his position in his chair. 

                "She had cancer to. She was diagnosed half-way through pregnancy." He replied quietly. I began to regret my question when he went silent for a moment. "I still remember her...so much like Jamie." He was one lucky guy, in that case. He laughed to himself as though he were remembering a good piece of the past. I nodded my head as that awkward silence, once again, filled the room.

                "Reverend, I'm going to go and see my mom, alright?" I asked, my hands on my knees. I felt so wrong for asking that question. He had this faraway look in his eyes. He nodded and told me to take my time.

                                          *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Mom, are you here?" I called as I came in through the front door. The house seemed completely quiet. "Mom?" I knew she had be around here somewhere. She hardly ever left the house and if she wasn't reading, she was writing. It's always been like that ever since my dad decided to go to Washington and visit my mom and I only once in a while. But, we had become closer in the last month after he decided to pay for Jamie's homecare so she wouldn't have to stay in a hospital. 

                "Landon, is that you?" a familiar male's voice called from the back of the house. Dad, I thought to myself. He walked into the kitchen and immediately gave me a hug. He seemed overjoyed at something and I didn't quite catch it. "Mom went to the store."

                "Well, I just came by to check on her. When did you get here? I thought you were going back." I said confusingly. He had this smile painted onto his face, almost like...like was getting married.

                "Well, Landon, I was going to wait to tell you, but since you asked, I'm engaged." he said cooly. Dad, engaged? To who? He hasn't really met anyone.

                "Who do you think?" he asked me with a laugh. "Mom." I froze in the position I was.  Does he think he can do that?


	3. Chapter Two

                After practically leaving the house with no other words of congradulations, nonetheless a what were you thinking gesture or word, I decided to drive back to Jamie's house. When I got there, I had to wait in the living room because there was a nurse in with her at the moment. Everything seemed to be spinning right past me and I didn't know how to grasp it all at once. Reverend Sullivan walked in through the kitchen door and saw me sitting there, my head in my hands.

                "Is everything alright, Landon?" He asked me in a soft quiet voice. I nodded a no and sighed. "What's the matter?" I sighed and sat back. Part of me was happy, the other angry, and the other undecided. There were too many events,  and not enough tolerance.

                "I've got too much on my mind to worry about and my head is throbbing." I replied. He gave me a confused, yet sympathetic look. "It's not all Jamie, although I am worried about her because I love her with all my heart, there's more." I saw back, my legs stretched out beneathe the coffee table, my head toward the ceiling.

                "Well, I'll get you something to drink and some aspirin, then we can talk about it." he stated. I nodded and let out a short gasp, glancing toward Jamie's shut door. The Reverend left to the kitchen and I stared at the mantel where a statue of Jesus sat. I remembered the first time I came over to Jamie's house and saw the exact statue. Jamie has decided to help me with my lines for the spring play and I was just a bit curious. I looked around an spotted that statue.

                "That's one scary looking Jesu--" I began to say as I turned around seeing Reverend Sullivan. I can still remember the strict expression on his face, the look of "If you do anything to my daughter, you're dead" expression. 

                "No, Jamie's father." he began saying as soon as those words came out of my mouth. "I heard you managed to win the lead of the school play, congradulations." He spoke in a falt toned voice. I felt myself begin to lose words, like if I tried to speak nothing would come out. He had me in his trap. 

                "Listen, thanks for letting me come over to go over lines with Jamie." I said, my hands stuffed my pockets. I could feel them becoming clammy and the sweat already dripping onto the floor.  Well, not onto the floor, but you get what I mean.

                "I didn't let you. It's a school night. Let me tell you something, Carter. You don't think I see you from where I stand on Sundays, but I do." He paused letting me let the words sink in. "I'll be in my office--it's just here." He said giving me that look again. As he said those last few words, Jamie was coming downstairs with her script. 

                I laughed to myself remembering that day. Ol' Hegbert Sullivan used to hate my guts. Maybe not hate me because hating was against religion, but he might have felt sorry for me. That was one reason why all his sermons were based on my family. It's hard to believe he let me marry his daughter.

                Seconds later, he returned carrying a glass of cold water and some aspirin. "Here you go, Landon." he said. He handed them to me. "So, what's bothering you, Landon?" I drank the water and took the aspirin and then set the glass down.                                                                     

                "It's my dad. He's moving back in with my mom and marrying her again. It's too fast, I mean." I explained. Reverend Sullivan rose from his couch and sat beside me.

                "Landon, you're worried about your dad moving in and re-marrying your mom?" he asked me. "Why?" 

                "Because he'll do it again. He'll pick up and go back to Washington. Only God knows what he left there, or better yet, who he left there." I said angrily. I cared about my mom. She was hurt once and she's doing fine without him. If he hurt her one more time, I would never let him come back to Beaufort, North Carolina.

                "How do you know? Son, have faith in your father. God wants you to forgive him, just like I had fave in you with Jamie, and I forgave you. Do the same for him." he said. I let that piece of advice sink in before making the conclusion that he was right. I nodded and thanked him. "Anytime." he said happily.

                Jamie's door suddenly opened and the nurse walked out. I got up and walked towards her. "How's she doing?" I asked.

                "She's just a bit weak." she replied. "Go ahead and see her if you'd like." she welcomed. I smiled at the Reverend and walked into her room.

                                                  *~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Hey baby." I said walking over to her and kissing her pink lips. 

                "Hello, Landon." she said smiling happily. There was something about me that made her happy. She acted like she wasn't even sick, like nothing else seemed to matter, but me. That made me happy cause it let me know that I could do something for her. "How're you doing?" she asked me softly as she patted a spot for me to sit. I sat down and took her hands into both of mine.

                "I'm alright now." I replied. Just seeing her made me feel better. "I've got something to tell you." She sat up a bit.

                "What's that?" she asked curiously. I crawled next to her and sat back against the headboard, her hand in mine. I kissed it lightly and laid her head onto my shoulder.

                "My mom and dad are re-marrying." I said. I couldn't believe the words myself as they came out of my mouth. It all seemed so untrue.

                "Wow, that's great Landon." she said to me. Her smile was so happy, so real. I know inside she was afraid of what wa going on with her, she told me herself, but no matter what, she wouldn't let it ruin her life and I would never let go of her. "Are you excited?" I looked down to her.

                "Mixed feeling." I simply replied. "So, are you hungry, have you eaten anything?" She nodded a no. "Do you want me to get you something?"

                "I just want to get out of bed." she replied looking out at the cloudy, rainy day. I got off the bed and told her I'd be right back.

                                                  *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                When I went into the kitchen, Reverend Sullivan was at the table working on his sermon. He looked tired and worn out. He must've felt my presence and looked up at me. "Hello, Landon." I nodded and walked closer to him. "What can I help you with?"

                "Well, I was kind of just wondering if it would be alright if I took Jamie out for a while?" I asked him hopefully. He seemed to be in deep thought for a moment. He tapped his pencil on the wood table continuously and then stopped to look at me. 

                "Be careful, Landon, please. She's all I have left." he begged. I smiled reassuringly and told him thank you.

                                                      *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Jamie?" I said walking back into her room. She was reading her Bible and looked up at me. She set it aside still open and smiled at me. "Guess what?"

                "What?" she asked excitedly. I walked closer to her and hlped her out of bed. "What's this about?" She asked. A smile crossed my face as I walked over to her closet and picked something out for her to wear. I chose a long blue skirt and a white top with the pink sweater I bought her. "Landon, sometimes  you scare me. What're you doing?" She asked me laughing.

                "You'll see. Do you need help putting these on?" I asked. Of course, I didn't mean anything by that. I respect Jamie and only wanted to help her.  She thought for a moment and looked around. "Don't worry Jamie, I'm not trying to seduce you." She smiled and let me help her. There was never a time where I thought about taking Jamie's innocence from her. She's not that type of girl.

                "You look nice." I commented after she was dressed. "Wait, come here and sit down." She smiled in wonder and sat on the white chair in front of her mirror. "I used to do my mom's hair and she liked it." She giggled slightly. "I mean it."

                I took her brush and gently brushed through her soft hair. I thought for a moment and decided on some braids. "Landon, were you mad at you father about re-marrying your mother?" I was quiet for a moment and then continued putting the braids in her hair.

                "I was just a bit angry. Okay, I stormed out of the house, but your dad talked sense into me. He told me to give my dad a chance." I explained. 

                "Oh...well, that's good. You should always forgive." Jamie stated. I nodded and kissed the top of her head and by this time there were five tiny braids in her hair, two on each side and one on the back. The rest of her hair hung freely.

                "I'm done." I told her. She looked at her reflection and laughed. 

                "Thank you, Landon." she said. I kissed her cheek and smiled back. 


	4. Chapter Three

                "So where are you taking me?" Jamie asked in the car. I smiled and shook my head as I continued to drive. We passed some small shops and I turned into the parking lot of a small breakfast shop. "Breakfast?" She asked me. I nodded a yes and winked at her.

                "But that's not all that comes with the package, m'lady. The rest is a suprise." I said mysteriously. She smiled happily. Jamie loved it when I surprised her. I remembered taking her to the state line and the exact look upon her face when I told her she was in two places at once. And then I remembered the tattoo, but I kept that thought to myself.

                "Where else are we going?" she asked me curiously. I nodded a no. "Come on, Landon, please?" She looked at me pleadingly and I laughed. 

                "It's a suprise." I answered. "And if I told you then it wouldn't be a suprise and I know how much you love suprises." She sat back and looked out the window as I parked in to a parking space. "What do you feel like eating?"

                "I don't know. What do they have here?" she said. I took hold of her hand and told her to come with me.

                                                *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                When we got inside, the smell of coffee and pancakes filled out noses and Jamie smiled.

                "Do you want some pancakes?" I asked her. She nodded a no. "Um...waffles?"

                "Silly, that's pretty much the same as a pancake." she said playfully tickling me.

                "Oh...yea." I said with a laugh. "Sorry about that. "Then what do you want? You can have anything."

                "I haven't had bacon and eggs in forever." she replied. I wanted the exact samething. Who turns down bacon and eggs anyway?    I laughed and ordered our food while she sat in a booth waiting for me. 

                When I finished and we were set to go, Eric walked in and we waved at him before walking back out to the car.

                                                    *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "So where are we off to now?" Jamie asked again. I smiled again mischieviously.

                "You'll see when we get there." I answered. She sighed which told me she had given up on asking. It was a twenty minute drive to our destination. I looked over to Jamie and she seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep. I reached over and grabbed her hand gently, giving in a light squeeze. She seemed to be tired all the time now and she'd often fall asleep on me, not that I minded. 

                                                       *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                I pulled into the rock driveway of a small cottage and shut the car engine off. I looked over to Jamie as she stared at the scenery and said, "Landon, this is gorgeous..." I looked down at her hand and took it into mine, placing a kiss on top of it.

                "Not as gorgeous as you." I said. We both got out and she led me to the small duck pond.  For a moment, she stared into the water and then back at me. She wrapped her arms around me in a hug and I hugged her back and felt myself begin to cry knowing that God was still going to take her from me. She let go of me and I quickly wiped the tears away before she noticed.

                "That's not all." I said. I ran back to the car and opened the trunk. I pulled out a blanket and she smiled at me. "This is for our picnic." I spreaded the blanket out onto the grass near the pond where Jamie still stood and she sat onto it. "Let me get our breakfast." I went to get the bag of breakfast out of the car and returned. The whole time we talked about everything except her sickness, just the way I wanted it.

                                              * ~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Landon, come on!" Jamie yelled from underneathe an overhang that stood beside the cottage. It had begun to rain and both of us were soaked. I brought the still fairly dried blanket with me as I ran over to Jamie. She laughed and said, "You're all wet." She took the blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders. I smiled and took her inside of the blanket, wrapping my arms around her. The rain poured heavily onto the ground as distant thunder crashed. I found an old chair and sat in it, she in my lap. I glanced out at the surrounding, the trees surrounding the tiny house swayed slowly and the little chipmunks ran from the rain. The rain pattered on the metal roof of the house almost making Jamie and me fall asleep. Before we knew it, we _were asleep while the rain gently fell upon the earth's surface._

                I woke up about an hour later and the rain was still falling, but lightly now. I looked down to the sleeping angel in my armss still being covered by a blanket. I stroked her hair that was slightly moist and kissed her forehead. I knew that we should be going, but I didn't want to wake Jamie up.  I began humming a familiar song to myself as I looked at her.

                "...It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again." I saw her mouth those words with a smile. I stopped for a moment, and looked at her more, her eyes still closed.

                "Don't stop." she said to me. I smiled and continued to hum as she whispered the words to me.

                                            *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                A week had passed since Jamie and I were luckily trapped in a storm. She seemed better, but then again, we all knew there was nothing that could be done unless there were some sort of miracle, a miracle I wanted to badly to give Jamie. I spent alot of time at her house, while my dad spent time with my mom. Something told me everything would be alright. Was God answering my prayers?


	5. Chapter Four

                It was Sunday morning and I had decided to go to church with Jamie since mom and dad were going together. I had talked to my dad the night before about him marrying mom and I told him I was sorry about walking out on him. I'm glad that he's marrying my mom.

                I walked silently into Jamie's room where she was still asleep. I smiled to myself and felt guilty for hacing to wake her up. I sat on the edge of her bed and stroked her cheek that felt oddly chilled. I thought of it as not normal and decided to call in a nurse before telling Hegbert about it. The nurse came to attend her while I told Reverend Sullivan who was a little worried.

                The two of us sat in the living room waiting on news on Jamie's condition. I felt my heart break in two when realization came to mind. I needed fresh air. I got up without excusing myself and walked outside onto the front porch and then sat on the swing in the far left corner of the porch. I tried controlling my tears. I needed Jamie. I love her so much.  I hung my head down and sighed as my own tears fell onto my hands, the same hands that Jamie's hand, and the same hnds that held her while she slept.

                No, I had to stop thinking she's going to go. Jamie can't go, not now. She's too young, too beautiful, and too innocent. I felt myself lose control. I got off the swing and stormed off the porch. I needed to walk.

                                                 *~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                Reverend Sullivan was about go out to see Landon, but the door to Jamie's room opened suddenly. Hegbert stood up, looking at the nurse anxiously. She came over to him slowly and motioned for him to take a seat.

                "Is she alright?" he asked her in hope that she was.

                "She had the chills, but she'll be alright for now." she said. _For now. Those words stuck to him like glue. "She'll need to stay covered and give her plenty of hot soup, tea, anything warm. Keep doing that until further notice." She informed. Hegbert felt justa bit relieved and thanked her. He then went to see Landon, but discovered he was gone, his car still in the driveway. He figured that he must've went for a walk so he returned inside to see his daughter._

                                                   *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Jamie, are you up?" he asked walking into her room. She looked away from her window and to her father. She smiled weakly. "How're you doing?" 

                "I'm cold, scared, and nervous." she replied, her words soft. Hegbert walked over to Jamie's closet and grabbed some blankets. "Aren't you going to church, Daddy?" He laughed a bit.

                "No, not today. I need to take of you." he replied. "Jamie, there's no need to be scared, okay? Don't be afraid of God. He's always watching over you." Jamie nodded. "Do you want something to drink or eat?" 

                "No, thank you. For now, I'll just rest." She replied. Reverend smiled and kissed her forehead.

                "You do that. Sweet dreams." With that, he left the room lightly shutting the door.

                                                    *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                I kept on walking down the same street I've been walking on for a while now. I didn't pay any attention to the name of it, I just walked. Up ahead, a familiar figure walked also. I tried catching up to make sure it was who I thought it was, I was right. Belinda. I didn't know whether to talk to her or not. I thought about it for a moment. I remembered the flier, the crude remarks, but I knew they had to be forgiven. She even had said sorry.

                "Belinda?" I yelled walking a little faster. She turned around and it seemed to take her a couple of seconds to realize who I was. She waited for me as I approached her. She forced a smile and looked down to her feet. She did that alot lately. "Hi." I said. She looked up to me forcing another smile. "What're you doing?"

                "I needed to walk." she replied. Her voice was low and seemed to break off every now and then. "Look...Landon, I feel bad still." She said. "The thought of treating her the way I have hasn't left my head. She has never treated me the way I treated her." Her lips quivered as she said the words. She looked as though she were about to cry and I did the only humane thing possible. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and told her it was okay. I didn't mean anything by it, but the girl needed a hug. She began to sob and thanked me.

                Even after that one day where it rained, the days stayed cloudy. In the distance, a low rumble could be heard. The scent of rain also filled the air. I finally let Belinda go and she returned her gaze to the ground. I didn't know what else there was left for me to do.

                "Landon...do you think you could take me to see her?" she asked me, a glaze in her eyes. I smiled and agreed to do so.

                                                 *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Reverend Sullivan?" I called in a low voice when I entered Jamie's house. Belinda wanted to wait on the porch while I talked to Jamie's father about her visit. "Are you here?" He walked out of his office with a smile.

                "Landon, you're back. What's wrong?" he asked me. He was busy cleaning the lens of his glasses and waiting for my answer.

                "Is Jamie alright? What did the nurse say?" I asked him anxiously.

                "Well, she had the chills. She has to stay warm and covered up until further notice." he replied. "Where did you go earlier?" I thought for a moment and looked around.

                "I went for a walk. I needed some fresh air and time to think." I replied. He nodded his head understandingly. "Reverend, someone's here to see Jamie from school. She's waiting outside." Hegbert looked to the door to see the blonde headed girl standing at the edge of the stairs, her cheeks tear-stained. He recognized her perfectly. He sighed and walked to the door, me following behind. 


	6. Chapter Five

                "Belinda, hello." Reverend Sullivan said. Belinda wiped the tears off her face and smiled. Hegbert held out a hand for her to shake and she took it. 

                "Reverend Sullivan, I'm so sorry." She said. She hugged him, her tears returning. "I feel so awful about everything I've ever done to Jamie." He returned the hug and smiled at Landon who was waiting beside the door. "Can I see her?" She asked. Reverend nodded and I led Belinda to the door of Jamie's room.

                "You love her alot, dont you?" she asked me standing there. I smiled and nodded a yes.

                "That's why I married her." I said. She laughed a tiny bit. "Listen, don't cry okay? I'm jsut going to see if she's awake or not." I said hugging her once more. She smiled slightly and I walked into Jamie's room.

                Jamie was laying in her bed, covered in blankets, staring out at the cloudy day. She heard me come in and turned to look at me.

                "Landon, hi." she said, her smile lighting her up immediately. I smiled back and told her about Belinda. She was quiet, but then agreed to let her visit. I kissed her lips and left the room to get Belinda.

                "You can come in now." I said walking towards Belinda. She stood there, her arms embracing herself and smiled. "Do you want me to come with you? She nodded a no and went inside.

                "Jamie,  hi." she said. Jamie looked to Belinda immediately taking notice of her ouffy red cheeks and red eyes. "How're you?" she asked Jamie her voice choking up.

                "I'm alright. Are you okay, Belinda?" Jamie asked sympathetically. Belinda walked a bit closer to Jamie's bed. "Oh, have a seat." Jamie offered. Belinda smiled half-heartedly and sat down.

                "Thank you." Belinda said. "I'm okay." She seemed to almost search Jamie for something. "Listen, Jamie..." She paused. "I'm sorry...for everything--from the jokes, the remarks...to those stupid fliers. You've been nothing, but nice to me, and I've been the opposite." Jamie listened attentively and then smiled.

                "Belinda?" Jamie said breaking the sudden silence. Belinda had been staring at the floor and looked up to Jamie. "It's okay. I forgive you." Belinda smiled.

                "You know, you're very lucky to have Landon." she began to say. Jamie smiled and nodded and Belinda started to laugh a little bit. "He has the greatest smile."

                "I'd have to agree with you on that one." Jamie stated blushing. Me, well, I stood on the other side of the door hearing every bit of it. Me, have the greatest smile? I laughed to myself and knocked lightly on the door. "Come in." Jamie had said. I walked inside and smiled at the two girls.

                "So, did you two have a good chat?" I asked with a slight smirk painted on my face. They looked at each other with a smile and Jamie spoke up and signalled for me to sit by her.

                "We had a very interesting talk, Landon." She had said putting  an arm around my waist. For a moment, Belinda brought her attention to that, but then snapped out of it.

                "I guess I better get going you two." she said. She got up and was about to leave the the room, but stopped and said, "Again, I'm sorry Jamie." She glanced at me for a moment, a look of sadness in her eyes and I knew why.

                                              *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                I'd spent the rest of the day with Jamie. Her father went to the church for something so I took care of her.

                I was in her room, laying beside her as she slept soundlessly. It all happened so fast it seemed. First the play, the the kiss, the fliers, the date, the word "I love you", her sickness, and the marriage. All of this in a short amount of time. The next thing I knew, Jamie flung up from my chest where her head was laying, a scream escaping her mouth, and a horrid expression spread across her face.

                "Jamie?" I said worriedly, my hand touching her shoulder. She turned to me crying, the tears streaming down her cheeks quickly. "What's wrong, baby?" Without warning, she fell into my lap. "Jamie?" I touched her back and realized she was crying. My hand stroked her back and I tried to comfort her. She continued to cry as I helped her sit up.

                "Landon, I don't want to die." She stated between her sobs. She hugged me tightly. "I don't want to leave you here." I hugged her back, never wanting to let go of her. "Please, promise me I won't die." I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I'm hopeless, I thought. Please Lord, help me.

                "Jamie, I love you." Was all I managed to say. "You won't lose me, not ever." She calmed down a little bit and explained to me that she had a dream. She told me that she thought I would leave her if she got any worse. That's impossible. I love her too much.

                After a while, she reached over to her Bible and opened it. We sat there for a full hour reading it together. 

                                                  *~~~~~~~~~~~*

                As a week passed, Jamie worsened. She slept alot more and I often found me talking to myself. I needed to give her that miracle somehow. I needed inspiration.


	7. Chapter Six

                Reverend Sullivan had to leave the house for a week and I agreed to stay with Jamie. This morning I woke up and began making a big breakfast for Jamie and me. She was still asleep in her room and probably would stay asleep for a while longer so that gave me enough time.

                The night before I had ordered four dozen roses, ten boxes of chocolate, and I went out to buy her a diamond necklace. The roses all sat on the front porch in a row by the stairs. I called a special exterior decorator to decorate the front porch with more flowers and water fountains. They started at five this morning and it was now ten. 

                "Landon!" I heard Jamie yell. I dropped the spoon I was beating the eggs with and ran to her room. 

                She sat straight up, that look of pure terror crossed her face again and she was as pale as ever. I ran to her and she threw her arms around my neck, her tears immediately soaking into my shirt.

                "Jamie, Jamie, please don't cry." I whispered. "What's the matter?" I looked at her worriedly, her eyes filled with terror and fright.

                "It was more than just a--a bad dream." she replied. I didn't know what to do anymore. My poor Jamie...she was dying.

                                              *~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Are you sure you're alright?" I asked Jamie. She nodded and smiled half-heartedly. I kissed the palm of her hand. "I'll wake you up in a little while, okay?" She gave me a puzzled look. "You'll see why."

                "Another suprise?" She asked me. I nodded a nod somewhere between a yes and no so she wouldn't tell and kissed her cheek. "Okay then." As I looked at her, she was so beautiful. I didn't care if she was sick; all I know is that I love her.

                                            *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Landon..." Jamie said breathlessly as I brought her breakfast. I had prepared her bacon, aggs, and a stack of pancakes, along with a glass of orange juice on a tray. "This is...all so...too much." she said with a laugh. I helped her sit up in bed and laid the tray on her lap. I sat on the edge of her bed and watched her begin to eat. "Well, are you going to join me?" she asked me after her first bite.

                "Just one moment." I replied. I left the room to get her necklace. Jamie, meanwhile, stared in awe as her breakfast and started eating again. I returned with my hands behind my back and a smile painted on my face. 

                "Where's your breakfast?" Jamie asked me.

                "Wait, I have something or you." I replied. I sat down on the bed once again and pulled the long black velvet box from behind my back. She looked at the box curiously. "This." I opened the box and watched her stare in complete awe.

                "Landon..." she said, her hand caressing the diamons. It took me about an hour to pick the exact right one out. It had diamonds embedded throughout the strand and a message saying "I love you" carved on the inside of the necklace.  "Landon, this was not neccessary." I hushed her with one finger on her lips and then smiled. Gently, I took the necklace from its box and slid it around her neck and fastened it. "Thank you." She said looking down at it. I gave her a kiss on the cheel and went to get my breakfast. 

                                        *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Landon, what's this about?" Jamie asked me. I lifted her into my arms, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

                "You'll see." I replied. I carried her out of her room and to the front door.

                "Landon Carter." She said suprised. "Put me down, please?" I smiled nervously not knowing whether I should or not.

                "Can you walk baby?" I asked her. She looked at me and nodded a yes. I could hear the water trickling at every angle of the porch. Red and white roses were everywhere. I put her down, still giving her support. She held on to me too and I followed her. She walked over to one of the fountains that a statue of a mermaid sitting on a rock. She stroked the surface of the waster with her fingertips and touche my cheek. "What was that for?" I asked confused.

                "For loving me when no one else would." she simply replied. Her fingers still touched my cheek and my hand went over hers. I could feel the tears coming again as my hands, so warm, touched hers, so cold. I kissed her palm.

                "I love you Jamie Sullivan." I said.

                "Jamie Carter, if you'd be so kind." she corrected me. I smiled.

                "I love you, Jamie Cartr." I whispered into her ear as I held her close.

                "I love you Landon." She said back to me. The urge to cry was becoming stronger. I had to let it out, but not now. "Landon, what's all this for?"

                "Only you." I replied. "Just fit for my angel." she smiled.

                "And mine." she said. I kissed her lips lightly and smiled. 


	8. Chapter Seven

                Author's note: There hasn't been to many of the Author note's 

have there? Well, not any actually. This is the last chapter and I hope and 

ask you to please and R&R the story as a whole. :) I cried while writing 

chapter 7. Really. I hope you all enjoyed and I'm currently writing 

another story that will hopefully be longer. Well, have a nice day and God 

bless you all. :) 

                It's been been two months since and I have been married. Each day I grow to love her more and more, and each day, in my eyes, she grows even more beautiful than the day before. Even though her time is getting closer, I still thank the Lord above for her love and most of all, the faith she has in me. Now, you may not think she's strong physically, but she's the strongest I know in heart. There has never been a moment where I've doubted her. She's an angel that will endure in my soul even after sheh as spread her beautiful wings to fly away to heaven, where she belongs, so that she can watch over me, her father, and the rest of the world, where she will at last have the chance to meet her mother.

                Somewhere inside, I know the tears will indeed come, because that's only natural, but I will be by her side to see her off, to see my sweet Jamie off, my sweet angelic Jamie. I'll never regret marrying her.

                                        *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                "Jamie, are you awake?" I asked walking into her room one afternoon. Immediately, the room looked like heaven on Earth. The windows were open and the white curtains blew as the sun flooded into the white room. Jamie, laying htere, looked the most beautiful I'd ever seen her. She looked just like the angel I'll portray her to be in heaven. Her eyes were shut comfortable. I walked over to her, almost afraid of what was actually there. She breathed steadily, but weakly. I sat on the edge of her bed and studied her features. The visions of her in her wedding dress palyed in my head as I remembered how beautiful she looked and still does look. The sun's light seemed to make glow. I missed her so much even though she was right there next me. Like they say, the worst way to miss someone is to miss that person when they're right beside you. 

                "Jamie." I whispered as I touched herh and lightly. She stirred just a bit  before her eyes opened. The sunlight seemed to dance in her eyes, they were the brightest blue eyes I'd ever seen and they somehow reminded me of the ocean's water glistening in the sun. "Hey."

                She smiled and weakly squeezed my hand. "Hello, Landon." she said softly. By just hearing her voice, I felt myself choke up. My angel was dying and I haven't even given her that miracle.

                "Landon, is something wrong?" she asked me. All I did was smile and kiss her lips softly.

                "I love you Jamie. I'm going to say that everytime I see you." I said. She stared at me, her eyes seeming to take a picture of me in rememberance. She didn't have to say she loved me back. She never would have to say it. I knew she loved me. I could tell just by looking at her, by her smile, her eyes, and most importantly her heart. The one thing that I had taken from her, the one thing that would stay with me for the rest of my life. 

                "I love you too, Landon." She finally said. "You're my angel." She said it again. I knew she meant it, she always had meant it. She took my hand and placed it on her heart. "You're always going to be here." she said reassuringly. Then she placed her hand on my heart. I placed my hand on hers and shut my eyes, savoring her touch. "And I'll always be here. I won't leave you, Landon, you're my miracle. I love you..." Her words seemed to faint and she slowly closed her eyes. 

                I knew what had happened. Her hand was still at my heart. My hand was still over hers. Tears came as I stared at her face, that face I loved so much, the face that would stay in my mind forever.  I kissed her hand lightly, and I knew she was there with me, I just couldn't see it. She'll always be with me, I know that.

                                           *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                Two days later as I drove to see Jamie befor the service, I thought about her. I thought about everything she said, about her life, my life, the way things are unexpected, the way things can change so quickly, and why some people can be so blind.

                On the other hand, I flet lucky to have had the chance to know and love someone like Jamie Elizabeth Sullivan. I've learned life's lesson and Jamie was the one who taught me it. Without her, I would be nothing. Without her, I wouldn't believe in miracles. I finally had given Jamie her miracle. The miracle was me, I kept her alive longer. I kept her alive so that she could be in two places at once and have a star named after her. I kept her alive for her father.

                                          *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                I walked into the funeral home where Jamie wold be staying and saw Reverend Sullivan knelt down besider her casket, his hand on top of hers and his face staring at hers. The weird thing was he wasn't crying. He had this "look" on his face of peacfulness.

                I walked towards him and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me expressionless.

                "Landon." he said. "Hi."

                "Can I have a few minutes with her?" I asked. He nodded and quietly left.

                There my baby laid in what I realized was the same dress whe wore at the play. She looked as beautiful as she ever has looked. I flet myslef choke up again staring at her beautiful face. I stroked her cheek lightly and the held back tears finally came. I knew she was in that room with me that very moment, watching and listening.

                "Jamie, my sweet Jamie...you're my everything...I love you." I began. I wouldn't dare to speak past tense to her. The feelings I have for will never change and there will never be an "I loved you" or "you were my everything". "I'll look back everyday and remember something. You're there, Jamie, it will be you forever. I'll never regret loving you. I'll always love you." That's when I opened her Bible and I could almost hear her voice speaking with mine as I read to her, my Jamie.

_Save me, oh God, for the waters_

_are come in unto my soul_

_I sink in the mire, where there is no standing:_

_I am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me_

_I am weary of my crying: my throat is dried: mine eyes fail_

_while I wait for my God _

                I closed the book gently, knowing that JAmie heard me and read along with me. I know she stood behind my shoulders watching.

                This was the last thing I hadto do with her. I stared at her, remembering everything. I smiled at myself and stared down at the Bible. Gently, I placed it beside her in the casket and kissed her forehead.

                "You can take it with you to heaven. I love you Jamie Elizabeth Carter." I spoke into her ear. "I told you I'd say that everytime I saw you. I love you my angel."

                                         *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                It's been a week now since Jamie flew away to heaven. I miss her 

alot. I will always miss her even though she's inside of me, she's inside of 

my heart. There's never been a day that for one second she's left my heart.

 Everytime I feel the wind, I feel her, the existing love inside of me. Her 

voice often plays inside of my head, not hauntingly, but sweetly. "You're 

my angel." I smile to myself as I lay a dozen red roses upon her headstone.

                That night, I brought her telescope, a blanket, and hot coffee to 

the cemetary with me. That way Jamie and I could watch Pluto together

 again, she in the sky as the star she's always been. This journey was truly

 meant to continue and has been a walk to live on remembering until the

 two of us meet again. 

                I look up to see the star, Jamie.

                "I love you Jamie." I say.

                                      *~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

                Later on that year, mom and dad did remarry and I went off the school with Jamie in my heart. Now, I'm here 25 years old. I'm finished with school. Life isn't perfect, but it's all part of this neverending journey. Jamie was right.


End file.
